You have to touch them all over before they respond. Rub one ball and everything moves.” #7 “I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I’m still looking for ideas.” #8 “I’m not very good at advice.

female sarcasm about dating-5

” Insulting smartass quotes Is someone being a total dick and you’re at a loss for what to say? Here are the best insulting smartass quotes we could find. so I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads.” #40 “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid.

I really thought you already knew.” [Read: 45 Saddest lost love quotes for the broken-hearted] #41 “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde #42 “If you ran as much as you ran your mouth, you’d be in great shape.” #43 “Look officer, I’m not being a smartass.

Good luck figuring out which one.” #28 “The only reason I’m fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.” [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company] #29 “You know a girl is mad when she starts off her sentence saying: “I just find it funny how…

” Because there is a 99.9% chance she did not find it funny.” #30 “Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn’t made any plans, and trying to figure out how the hell you hurt your back.” #31 “My girlfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on her face…

A few years ago, Laura Mickes was teaching her regular undergraduate class on childhood psychological disorders at the University of California, San Diego.

It was a weighty subject, so occasionally she would inject a sarcastic comment about her own upbringing to lighten the mood.I don’t wish the best for you, nor do I want to find someone like you.I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff.” [Read: All the quotes you need while going through a breakup] #15 “You cross my mind only on Thursday morning. Well, historically speaking, more powerful.” #19 “I’m going back to living my fabulous life before you interrupted it to remind me that there are still assholes in this world.” #20 “When your ex says, ‘You’ll never find anyone like me’ reply with: ‘that’s the point.’” #21 “Today I saw something that reminded me of you.All I’m saying is, if you caught me, then you were speeding too.” #44 “Keep rolling your eyes.Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.” #45 “If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.” #46 “I typed ‘Bitch’ into my GPS and guess what? How to be witty and win anyone over] There you have it.I love sharpies.” #32 “Light travels faster than sound.